Handy horns, Thai-tanic strangeness, Jewish music fusion, US cops use devious nuptials, and the world's ugliest dog, all on the world wide weird

Talk Like A Pirate Day

spotter R Millman

September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day! As some of us know, Pirates, in fact, can only be speaking in the present tense. You're not even supposed to be using the conditional! However, I'm sure, as Geoffrey Rush would advise, these be more guidelines than rules...

Want to talk like a pirate?

HISOAS

It's those Headlines In Search Of A Story again...

That's why Ian Brady's feeling damp

That's why the Lady's on a ramp

The Hills Are Alive To The Sound Of Oi Vey!
(there is a prize for the person who knows the album this refers to)

Top TAR

Man lifts 14 bricks with his 'horn'

Ananova

A Chinese pensioner can lift up to 14 bricks with a 'horn' that's grown on his forehead.


Wang Ying, 73, lifts 14 bricks with a horn that grew on his forehead /Photocome

Wang Ying, 73, has been practicing Kung Fu, especially the study of Qi, since he was just eight-years-old.

But his studies took a new direction after a 5cm long tumour grew on his forehead.


Wang Ying and the horn-like tumour he's incorporated into his kung fu routine /Photocome

Doctors told him they could not operate on the tumour because of its location.

So Wang has incorporated it into his Qi routine.

He lives in a farm in Pei County, Jiangsu Province, and walked for 18 days to Nanjing to show off his stunt. (:/)

Thai me up, Thai me down

Penis Issue Harming Thai Cabinet

AP

Dateline: Bangcock, Thailand - Thailand's prime minister is trying to ferret out a government minister who allegedly had a penis enlargement procedure, saying news of it is affecting the Cabinet's reputation, a news report said Wednesday.

"Who did it? Tell me," Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra told his ministers at Tuesday's Cabinet meeting, triggering a round of banter and causing some to squirm in their chairs, The Nation newspaper said.

Last week, a woman — being sued for defamation by a clinic after she claimed it gave her a face-disfiguring silicon injection — said a Cabinet member had received a penis-enlargement injection at the same clinic and urged him to come forward as a witness in her defense.

Calling on the official through reporters on the steps of Government House on Tuesday, the woman, Rawiwan Setharat, said, "The problem of my face is bigger than the problem of your penis."

"This has affected the reputation of the Cabinet, because the news went around the world. I don't want the people to think the Cabinet members are obsessed with this kind of thing," the newspaper quoted Thaksin as telling his ministers.

Speaking to reporters after the meeting, Agriculture Minister Sudarat Keyuraphan said no one had admitted to the enlargement procedure. Other ministers joked about various suggestions on how he could be identified. (:/)

Bangcock, indeed. Now, if you could combine that story with this one, things could get painful...

Thai PM Gives Tough Questions the Buzzer

AP

Dateline: Bangkok, Thailand - Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has long complained of press criticism. But he sought to turn the tables Thursday with a new tactic — sounding a buzzer every time reporters ask questions he deems "not constructive."

To the surprise of journalists and colleagues alike, Thaksin raised a handheld buzzer — which displayed an "X" sign — from behind the podium to indicate his disapproval of some questions asked at the first in a new series of weekly news conferences.

The button-pushing Thaksin sounded the alarm when a Thai newspaperman asked why the government had failed to seek parliamentary consent before introducing an emergency decree in the volatile southern provinces, where a Muslim insurgency has taken hold.

"Not constructive!" he exclaimed, referring to the reporter's question and a related one about whether foreign terrorists might be linked to the rebellion.

But other questions elicited a sweeter response: when a female reporter asked about government plans to offset rising oil prices, Thaksin's gadget emitted a pleasant tone and displayed an "O," signaling his approval.

Thaksin joked about the buzzer to puzzled reporters: "My son brought it from Japan for his sister, and I just borrowed it to use with the media to make the atmosphere more relaxing."

But some journalists failed to see the humor.

"I think it's a little overboard for a prime minister to do anything like that because in this forum, I think, reporters have the right to ask any questions that concern the Thai people, the public interest," said Tulsathit Taptin, editor of The Nation, an English-language daily.

"They have the right to ask those kinds of questions," he said.

The new series of news conferences was organized by the government to give reporters better access to Thaksin and to information about government activities.

It wasn't clear whether Thaksin planned to keep using the buzzer. (:/)

"some journalists failed to see the humor" - priceless.

No sex please...

No sex please, we're a British teen TV show

AFP

Dateline: london - Twelve teenagers are facing a challenge to go five months without sex in a new British reality television show, the BBC announced.

The show will follow six boys and six girls aged 15 to 17 as they are coaxed into favouring celibacy over sex.

The show will see the dozen share a house for a weekend to test whether they can resist the urge to get frisky.

"No Sex Please, We're Teenagers" is the brainchild of Christian youth workers Dan Burke and Rachael Gardner.

The duo are to set up a "Romance Academy" to teach the teenagers the ways of good old-fashioned courting, rather than the booze-fuelled romp that led to one of the young folks, 15-year-old Wesley, losing his virginity at the age of 12.

Of the teens, all from Harrow in northwest London, three will start the show with their virginity intact.

They include 17-year-old Andre, who became a Christian after hearing a speech on saving sex for marriage, and Mounisha, 16, a Hindu girl who says she is waiting to "meet the right person".

"Rachel and Dan have both practised celibacy and think that teenagers would be much happier if they were involved in long-term, serious relationships," said a BBC spokeswoman.

"With teenage pregnancy and sexually-transmitted disease rates in Britain the highest in Europe, this documentary gives them the chance to test their beliefs."

The show is to start in September. (:/)

And in the spirit of balance:

Sperm donor reality show?

Reuters

Amsterdam - Billionaire television producer John de Mol, behind the pioneer show Big Brother, will test the limits of reality TV with a program in which a woman searches for a potential sperm donor to conceive a child.

His new TV station Talpa, launched earlier this month, confirmed it will air a program called "I want your child ... and nothing else!" but gave no further details about the show due at 1830 GMT Wednesday.

"The plan is that we visit potential donors and -- of course on camera -- decide which man is most suitable," the 30-year old woman who will feature in the program said in an interview with De Telegraaf newspaper.

"Afterwards there will be artificial insemination," said the woman who was identified only as "Yessica" and who has bought a house with a room for a child.

The show is a one-off competing with four other reality TV programs, one of which follows five former prostitutes starting a cafe. The program receiving most votes from viewers Saturday, after all the shows have aired, will be turned into a series.

De Telegraaf also published an email address for men wanting to donate sperm to Yessica. (:/)

Yeah but what is it?!?! And, frankly, this all makes me feel that Micheal Buerke was right...

Criminal Negligence

Two arrested for dumping alligator into L.A. lake

Reuters

Dateline: Los Angeles - Two men have been arrested for releasing a man-sized alligator into a Los Angeles lake, where the big reptile has eluded increasingly frustrated authorities for two weeks, police said on Wednesday.



Anthony Brewer, 36, was taken into custody on Tuesday night at his home in the Los Angeles suburb of San Pedro, where police said they found remnants of a make-shift alligator habitat, two snapping turtles and drugs.

Evidence seized there led officers to the nearby home of Todd Natow, 42, who was also arrested. A Los Angeles police spokesman said officers discovered three alligators, four piranhas, three desert tortoises, six tortoise eggs, one rattlesnake, a scorpion and marijuana.

The spokesman said investigators believe that Brewer owned the alligator and gave it to Natow, who put it into Lake Machado in the Harbor City neighborhood of Los Angeles about two months ago.

The reptile was reported to authorities about two weeks ago and since then has dodged repeated attempts to capture it by park rangers and professional gator wranglers brought in from out of state.

The cagey creature has meanwhile won the affection of some local residents, who gather around the 53-acre (21 hectare) lake waiting for it to surface from the brackish water.

Others have hawked T-shirts bearing an alligator drawing and the words: "Harbor City You Will Never Catch Me." (:/)

I really want one of those T-shirts.

Britain's thickest thief?

Sky.com

A hooded man has been dubbed Britain's thickest thief after stealing from a CCTV shop.

The man was caught on eight separate surveillance cameras as he targeted the shop in Manchester and stole a laptop computer worth £700.

He chose to raid the store despite numerous signs around the store warning that closed circuit television cameras were in operation.

CCTV images show the man from every single angle - one frame shows him handling a door, which forensic experts believe will provide them with a perfect set of fingerprints.

There are even pictures of him looking through the shop window half an hour earlier, jumping up to get a better look.

Owner of the shop, David Arathoon, 54, has said the thief's actions are proving "the biggest boost to business imaginable".

He said: "I didn't know whether to laugh or be annoyed, and in the end I did both."

Mr Arathoon told the Daily Star: "Frame by frame, cameras filmed him around the shop. The stupidity to think stealing from a CCTV shop is a good idea is astonishing."

Manchester Police have said they will collect any evidence. (:/)

Which they'll wipe, er, I mean be unable to find...

Drug dealers hitched lift from cop

Ananova

Two Romanian drug dealers were arrested when they accepted a lift from a passing drugs squad officer.

Catalin Vasile and Gheorghita Marienescu, both 22, from Targu Frumos, had filled their rucksacks with 25 ounces of cannabis from their own plantation.

They started hitch-hiking on their way back into town when it started to rain - and got a lift from an off duty police officer with the local drugs squad, who soon recognised the distinctive smell.

Policeman Florin Ardelean said: "I saw the two men standing near a field trying to hitch a lift. I felt sorry for them as it had just started to pour down and so I stopped to help.

"I smelt the cannabis on them as soon as they had shut the doors."

The policeman then drove the pair straight to the police station in Targu Frumos.

He added: "It turns out they had been cultivating the drugs for some time in the field and were selling it locally."

The pair are now facing up to five years' jail on charges of growing and dealing drugs. (:/)

Postal Worker Charged in Coffee Urine Case

AP

Dateline: Akron, Ohio - A postal worker has been charged with putting urine in the coffee of co-workers who set up a video camera in their break room after they became suspicious, authorities said.

Thomas Shaheen, 49, of suburban Springfield Township, who works as a vehicle mechanic for the U.S. Postal Service, was charged Aug. 5 with two misdemeanor counts of adulteration of food or placing harmful objects in food.

He was ordered to appear in Akron Municipal Court on Monday.

Prosecutors said workers believed Shaheen poured urine into a coffee pot in a break room on July 5 and again July 6. Suspecting a problem, workers started their own investigation.

"Employees did put a video camera in, and that's how they were able to put a stop to what he was doing," Akron Prosecutor Douglas Powley said.

Powley said Shaheen was unhappy at work but the prosecutor declined to get into any further details.

None of Shaheen's co-workers was physically harmed.

Shaheen could not be reached for comment. Repeated calls to his home went unanswered Thursday. A message was left for his attorney, Paul F. Adamson. (:/)

I'd love to get a copy of that attorney's answerphone tape...

Man faked kidnap to skip wedding

Ananova

A Guatemalan man faked his own kidnapping to get out of his wedding.

The 25-year-old disappeared on the day of his wedding and appeared again hours later claiming he'd been kidnapped.

He gave the police a full statement but officers thought his story was suspicious.

A police spokesman said: "We soon found out that it was a lie. He did it all to escape the wedding, poor bride."

The man now faces charges of wasting police time, Estado de Sao Paulo reports. (:/)

Man Calls 911 About Booze, Leads Chase

AP

Dateline:
Coon Rapids, Iowa - A man who police say pointed a gun at police before leading officers on a chase was arrested. Gary Michael Ritchie, 53, of Coon Rapids, fled from police after he called 911 at least four times about a problem he was having with neighbors, police said.

Ritchie was drinking at a neighbor's house Saturday night when he become unruly and was asked to leave, police said.

He later called 911 asking police to help him retrieve a bottle of pure-grain alcohol he left at the neighbor's, police said.

Police Chief Joel Roetman went to the neighbor's and then to Ritchie's, where Ritchie pointed a gun at Roetman, court records show.

Ritchie then drove off, leading police on a chase that ended when county deputies placed stop sticks on the road, flattening the tires on Roetman's car south of Scranton, records show.

Police say Ritchie led them on a foot chase into a cornfield, where officers were unable to find him.

Ritchie was arrested at his home on Sunday. (:/)

Strange but true

Monday is favored day for British suicides

Reuters

Dateline: London - Britons are more likely to commit suicide on Monday than any other day of the week, researchers said on Thursday.

This is due not only to the "Monday morning blues" associated with a return to work but, more generally, to a sense of unease related to the start of something new, they said.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) collated evidence from nearly 35,000 suicide cases between 1993 and 2002.

"The most common day of death was Monday for both males and females," they said. "This 'Monday effect' for suicides was consistent across all age groups, methods of suicide and all categories of marital status."

Previous studies have suggested that the Monday effect is related to work, but the ONS noted it was also apparent in Britons aged over 75, most of whom do not work.

"(This is) consistent with the theory that the day of the week pattern in suicides is related to the effect of a new beginning, rather than employment-related," they said.

While Monday was usually the bleakest day of the week, the ONS found that the worst day for suicides in the 9-year period was January 1, 2000 -- a Saturday. (:/)

I found this story and actually found myself amused by the presentation, the writing. In a sense there's a real black humour to this.

However, a couple of things remain actual issues here:
a) I'm not sure that a "sense of unease related to the start of something new" is really enough to tip you over the edge (or Beachy Head),
b) the "Monday effect" is worryingly real in some lesser sense for many of us, and perhaps speaks of a larger social malaise that Marx would have a few words for, and
c) I actually remember Millenium night and I, personally, had a completely shite evening.

Headlines of the Week

Super Zotob goes ballistic,
XP users cautious

SC/byline D Quainton/spotter D Quainton (unsurprisingly)

Jerry Seinfeld a dad again -
third child to also be named "Yadda"

FARK.com

World Wide Weird

Funny, It Doesn't Sound Jewish

New York Times

In 1973, Gershon Kingsley was invited to perform at a convention of cantors at Grossinger's, the Catskills retreat for midcentury Jews of a certain station. Mr. Kingsley, a pioneer of the Moog synthesizer, listened as the cantors lamented the increasing commercialization of Jewish music and the creeping influence of rock 'n' roll. And then, with some trepidation, he took the stage to perform some of his radical religious Moog compositions. "It was a huge success," Mr. Kingsley, now 82, recalled with a laugh. "The same people who had been complaining came up to me and said that they thought it worked beautifully."

"Bagels and Bongos" became a hit not only in America, Mr. Fields said, but also in Europe and Japan. A sequel, "More Bagels and Bongos," was commissioned, followed by more fusion experiments: "Pizza and Bongos," "Champagne and Bongos," "Bikinis and Bongos."

Despite all those bongos, there were no more bagels. "French music or Italian music in a Jewish style?" Mr. Fields said. "But there's no such thing." (:/)

Pop along to the Rebooters website for more on this madness.

Off his trolley?

Ananova

A designer is trying to reduce Britain's mountain of old shopping trolleys - by turning them into furniture.



Designer Colin Lovekin with a chair he made from disused supermarket trolleys. The 46-year-old made his first batch of trolley-based furniture for his BA degree and he's now looking to make them commercially /Empics

Colin Lovekin, from Exeter, says about 100,000 trolleys are destroyed every year - many going into landfill sites.

The 46-year-old made his first batch of trolley-based furniture for his BA degree in three-dimensional design.

Newly graduated, he is now looking at the potential for making the furniture on a commercial basis.

He made three chairs and a sofa while studying for his university degree, the final chair design featuring curved arms, wheeled legs, and even a basket at the back.

Mr Lovekin uses one of his prototype chairs at his home in Budlake, near Exeter, Devon, and is now set to make a couple more for a friend. (:/)

Taiwan drops anti-AIDS ad
featuring nun holding condom

Reuters

Dateline: Taipei - Taiwan has withdrawn an anti-AIDS campaign ad featuring a smiling nun holding a condom after it sparked an outcry from Roman Catholics, local media said on Wednesday.

The poster, which shows the nun holding the condom with both hands and saying "Although I don't need one, even I know", had been removed from all condom machines in Taipei hospitals, subway stations and elsewhere.

"As a nun, I can't agree with their way of expressing things," a church spokeswoman said on Wednesday. "This is a serious insult."

Nuns take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience and the Vatican considers all forms of contraception a sin.

Local media said the plan had been to use someone with a "positive image" to promote the use of condoms to prevent AIDS. There are about 300,000 Catholics on the island of 23 million people. (:/)

N.Y. Man in Record Book for Eyebrow Hair

AP

Dateline: Saranac, N.Y. - A bushy brow landed Frank Ames in the Guinness Book of World Records, but not before a new entry was created for him. The 43-year-old upstate New York man now holds the world record for having the longest eyebrow hair, measured just over 3 inches.



"I don't know why it grows like that; it just always has," Ames told the Press-Republican of Plattsburgh.

Ames' journey toward notoriety began almost two years ago when a co-worker at Bombardier Corp. noticed the lengthy brow and suggested Ames try for a record.

When Ames decided to go for it, he discovered that no such category existed. So, he called Guinness and got the rules for official recognition.

Ken Joy, a machinist at Bombardier, measured the hair in February 2004 with Plattsburgh Mayor Daniel Stewart and other city officials standing by as witnesses.

Ames' record appears in the 2006 edition of the record book, in the "Body Parts" section.

"It's crazy how much people want to know about this," Ames said Tuesday. "I've been on radio shows all day. I could build children's hospitals all across the world, and this is what I would still be known for." (:/)

Don'alf remind one of the "You f*ck one sheep" punchline...

Principal defends smacking pamphlet

TVNZ

The principal of a small christian school in Auckland doesn't believe there's anything wrong with sending smacking guidelines to parents.

Carey College gave guidelines to parents outlining how to smack their children on the buttocks with their hand or a rod in what it calls an expression of love - responsible parenting in the child's best interests.

The pamphlet was sent out after steps were taken in parliament last month to ban smacking in New Zealand.

The Children's Commissioner Cindy Kiro says it is irresponsible and misguided for a school to send out the pamphlet.

But, Carey College principal Michael Drake says the school has always supported parents right to smack their children and has sent the information to parents in response to the anti-smacking bill.

He says he hasn't had any complaints from parents of the private school's 50 students about the pamphlet. (:/)

Not from *parents*, no...

Campaign for Turtle Eggs Stirs Controversy

AP

Dateline: Mexico City - A campaign aimed at halting the illegal consumption of endangered turtles' eggs has run into trouble before it starts, with a women's group asking officials to block public service announcements featuring a scantily clad model.


(AP Photo/Wildcoast,HO)

"My man does not need turtle eggs because he knows they don't make him more potent," Argentine model Dorismar purrs from posters in which she poses alternately in sexy bathing suits, skimpy shorts and an unbuttoned shirt and cowboy hat.

The message, designed by the nonprofit, California-based conservation group Wildcoast, is aimed at Mexican men who for years have eaten the eggs, believing they are aphrodisiacs.

The National Women's Institute considers the campaign offensive, and a step back in the country's bid to overcome its culturally ingrained machismo. (:/)

Sport

With goalie at a concert, Belgian
girls football team suffers 50-1 defeat

AFP

Dateline: Brussels - A third-division provincial girls football team entered the annals of Belgian soccer on Saturday after suffering a crushing 50-1 defeat because of the absence of a single but crucial player: their music-loving goalkeeper.


(AFP/File)

SK Berlaar's goal was left unguarded in a match with FC Malines after its goalie opted instead to go to a rock festival, Het Laatste Nieuws reported Monday.

"Kick-off, move upfield and in it goes. That was repeated without a halt. At half-time, it was already 27-to-0," the Flemish newspaper said, describing how 16-year-old Charlotte Jacobs tried in vain to defend the goal in the absence of the usual goal-keeper.

"We came back in the second half. We only took 23 goals and we even made one at the end. They let us score, that was nice," the teenager said.

"If you subtract the time needed to get the ball from the net and bring it to centre-field, we can say that the girls from Malines scored almost every minute," she remarked.

"Luckily, there's no return match," team captain Julie Lemmens said more bitterly.

But SK Berlaar's secretary, Jan Verbinnen, was unmoved by the loss and saw a way of inverting the outcome, noting that the other team had registered 16 instead of 15 players for the match.

"If I tell the Federation, they will have lost the match 5-0 and will be eliminated from the championships," he told the newspaper. (:/)

What has Star Trek's Federation got to do with this? Will Jean Luc Picard help them somehow??

Brie Fly

Superman spotted in Serbia

Ananova

Serbian authorities are investigating reports of a real-life Superman after people claimed to have seen a cloaked figure flying over their houses.

Hundreds of residents in Ljubovija described seeing a cloaked person flying above buildings "as if he had an invisible engine on his back" and changing directions while in mid-air, local daily Blic reported.

One local said: "It was like something out of Superman or Batman. No one has any rational explanation for what we all saw."

Police in the town have refused to comment. (:/)

Cops on the Rocks

Officer accidentally opened prison doors

AP

Dateline: Honolulu - Last month's riot at a Mississippi prison holding Hawaii inmates began after a corrections officer accidentally opened 20 cell doors.

Prison officials say a sergeant who hit the wrong button probably is to blame for releasing about three dozen Hawaii inmates and triggering a violent disturbance.

Two prisoners in the Tallahatchie County Correctional Facility unit were hospitalized after other inmates attacked them when the cell doors opened on July 17th.

Prison guards dropped tear gas grenades from the roof into the Special Housing Incentive Program unit, and regained control of the unit about 90 minutes after the cell doors opened. (:/)

Police battle looters after beer train crashes

AP/MSNBC

Dateline: Johannesburg, South Africa - Hundreds of looters battled police all weekend at the site of a beer train wreck in violence that left one woman dead, South African police said on Monday as they kept a heavy guard on the remaining alcohol.

The train carrying 180,000 crates of beer from South African Breweries derailed on Friday night near Waterval Boven, 124 miles east of Johannesburg, Superintendent Izak van Zyl said.

By Saturday morning, police were battling up to 200 people from the nearby township trying to make off with crates of beer.

“It was a lot of trouble from one train crash,” Van Zyl said. “They were firing rubber bullets into the crowd. The issue was the beer.”

A 19-year-old woman in the crowd was killed when she fell under the wheels of a truck, he said.

Police handed the site over to railway security staff but were back again on Sunday morning, firing more rubber bullets as looters converged on the train. Officers raided nearby houses, recovered three out of 500 missing cases and arrested six people.

Van Zyl said 20 officers would remain at the site until the overturned wagons and surviving beer crates could be recovered, an operation that could take up to a week. (:/)

Cops at the Docks!

FBI Agents' 'Wedding' Is a Bust for Guests

LA Times

Dateline: Washington — After their wedding guests had streamed into Atlantic City, N.J., for the festivities Sunday aboard the yacht Royal Charm, the happy couple surprised them all — by having them arrested as part of an alleged international Asia-based organized crime syndicate.

Unbeknown to the attendees, many of whom came from China for the occasion, the supposed bride and groom were FBI agents. The government said Monday that the pair had spent four years investigating a sophisticated racketeering enterprise suspected of smuggling into the United States vast quantities of black-market cigarettes, high-tech weapons, Ecstasy, counterfeit Viagra and virtually undetectable counterfeit $100 bills.

The operation had a large Southern California presence, authorities said, and much of the contraband was moved in shipping containers through the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach.

The wedding, Justice Department officials said, was part of an elaborate trap designed to entice overseas-based alleged members of the crime syndicate into the U.S. so they could be arrested and charged. Several dozen of them were taken into custody while on the way to the dockside "wedding ceremony," dressed in their wedding finest and apparently shocked at the turn of events, according to one Justice Department official.

"They were literally being taken out of their limos and into custody," one Justice Department official said. "Some of them were bearing gifts — expensive ones like Rolex watches."

By Monday morning, at least 59 people had been arrested in Atlantic City, Los Angeles and nine other U.S. locations. Authorities were searching for at least 28 other people indicted by federal grand juries on both coasts. (:/)

That's 'Entertainment'

Bodyguards tackle Ali G

Ananova

Dateline: Los Angeles - Sacha Baron Cohen aka Ali G was dunked in the sea by Pamela Anderson's bodyguards - after rugby-tackling the actress at her dogs' wedding.

The Ali G star was dressed as his other creation, Kazakhstani TV journalist Borat, when he pulled the stunt.

Cohen, 33, in trunks, leather jacket and Village People-style cap, emerged from the surf on an inflatable turtle.

His rugby tackle sent Pam, 38, hurtling to the sand on the beach at Malibu, California.

Concerned security men grabbed the comedian and dragged him into the sea.

Pam was presiding over the nuptials of her Golden Retriever Star to Chihuahua Luca. (:/)

Talking of dogs... (not Pammy, of course)

Whoa!

'Ugliest' Dog Gaining Cult Status

Local 6

A dog deemed the ugliest dog in the world has become a canine celebrity and is quickly becoming a hit online since his mug was featured in newspapers and on television, according to a Local 6 News report.



Since his third contest win, Sam has inspired several Web sites, blogs and even an Internet comic strip.

Sam, a 14-year-old pedigreed Chinese crested, won the World's Ugliest Dog contest for the third time in June.

Since his third contest win, Sam has inspired several Web sites, blogs and even an Internet comic strip.

Web sites are even selling Sam memorabilia and attempting contests to find an even uglier dog than Sam, according to the report.

Also, the Internet myth debunking site, Snopes.com, has Sam's story as a "true" status.

Another Web site cheered the fact that Sam is neutered, saying, "We do not want another Son Of Sam."

Sam's owner, Susie Lockheed, 53, said her dog is an accident of breeding, Local 6 News reported. Lockheed took Sam in five years ago when he was considered not adoptable.

"Sometimes other dogs don't seem to quite know if he's a canine," Lockheed said. "They have to have a good sniff." (:/)

And finally...

Stalking devotion

Seattle Times/byline Vanessa Renee Casavant

Dateline: Seattle - At a time when plastic surgery has become fairly commonplace, some believe the Catman of Whidbey Island may have gone too far.

Dennis Avner, who goes by his American Indian name, Stalking Cat, is known around the world as the Catman. Over the past 25 years, Stalking Cat, 47, has received so many surgical and cosmetic procedures he’s lost count. And he says all of them - from full-face tattoos to fanged dentures to steel implants for detachable "whiskers" - have been done to achieve oneness with what he calls his totem, the tiger.


Dennis Avner shows his tiger teeth at his home in Freeland, Wash. He had all of his teeth removed to install tiger-like dentures.
AP photo

"I’m Huron and Lakota," he said, relaxing barefoot in his Freeland, Wash., living room. "I’m just taking a very old tradition, that to my knowledge is not practiced anymore."

He insists his unusually startling appearance is nothing more than trying to make physical his spiritual and traditional calling. He was raised in a small Michigan town near the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa in Sutton Bay. Respect for the old ways, he said, was passed on to him by a Huron medicine man. Undergoing extreme measures of body modification, he said, is simply taking advantage of modern technologies to practice a devotion that’s been lost.

Stalking Cat started his transformation in 1980 after leaving his post as a sonar submarine technician for the Navy. He eventually settled in the San Diego area as a computer technician, and began the series of procedures that has resulted in his current appearance.

He has had all his teeth removed and replaced with tigerlike dentures and fangs. He has had his lip split to resemble the mouth of a cat. He has six stainless-steel mounts implanted on his forehead and 18 piercings above his lip to which he can attach whiskers. He has had nose and brow implants, and silicone cheek, chin and lip injections. The tips of his ears are pointed. And he has so many tattoos they almost cover his body.

Stalking Cat said he has lost track of how much his transformation has cost, though one figure quoted on a Web site estimates it would cost more than $200,000 - a figure Stalking Cat would neither confirm nor deny. He would only say, "It’s a lot."

As for any pain, Stalking Cat said some of the procedures hurt, but says there is no ongoing discomfort: "This is me," he said. "This is who I am."

The man responsible for the majority of Stalking Cat’s most extreme procedures is Phoenix body-modification artist Steve Haworth. He could not be reached for comment, but Stalking Cat is featured on Haworth’s Web site, www.stevehaworth.com.

Stalking Cat said he next plans to start tattooing the rest of his body with tiger stripes and to go back to Haworth to have stainless-steel mounts implanted in the top of his head so he can attach catlike ears to them. But further procedures will have to wait while he goes about the more mundane process of finding a job and fixing up the home he has shared since May with friends Tess Calhoun and Rick Weiss.

"The people here have been pretty welcoming," he said.

He has already found a local manicurist to paint his fingernails. "They don’t look very good today," he said, examining the tiger print detailing on them. "I’m still teaching her how to do it."

"I think he fits in well on the island," said Sarah Pankau, 18, who works near Stalking Cat’s house. She said there’s already a diverse mix of people on the island and he’s a welcome addition.

Nevertheless, not all islanders have embraced him. After Stalking Cat announced his move on his online journal, a person with the screen name "atomicdrunk" said, "... we have lots of hunters here. You can move here if you agree to stay in the woods and not wear orange." (:/)

Indeed. Until next time...

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