Berlusconi mouths off, the scent of a woman is grapefruit, the world's best pilot, fondling our furry friends, and why potatoes have a bad name...

Berlusconiballs!

'Berlusconi's fat' moulded to art

BBC

Switzerland-based artist Gianni Motti claims to have bought the fat from a clinic where the leader had a liposuction operation performed.

He moulded it into a bar of soap which he named Mani Pulite (Clean Hands).

An art work purportedly made from excess fat from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been sold for $18,000 (£9,862).



The work was put on display at the Art Basel fair in Switzerland and was sold to a private Swiss collector.

Motti gave it the title Clean Hands as a reference to an anti-corruption campaign of the 1990s. It reflects the artist's view of the current government.

"I came up with the idea of because soap is made of pig fat, and I thought how much more appropriate it would be if people washed their hands using a piece of Berlusconi," Motti told Weltwoche magazine.

Motti's work was part of the display from the Galerie Nicola von Senger of Zurich, one of 270 worldwide galleries exhibiting contemporary works.

All the works on display were for sale, with prices topping $45,000 (£24,658) as collectors hope to uncover the big names of the future. (:/)

Berlusconi rubs salt in Finnish wound at food body

Reuters

Dateline Parma, Italy - Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi repeated one of his most famous diplomatic gaffes on Tuesday by insulting the cuisine of Finland which Italy beat to host the new European Food Safety Authority.

"I've been to Finland and I had to endure the Finnish diet so I am in a position to make a comparison," Berlusconi told local dignitaries ahead of the inauguration of the EFSA in the northern Italian town of Parma.

The 68-year-old media tycoon also said he had used his masculine charm to persuade Finland's president, Tarja Halonen, to give up her country's claim to host the European Union agency.

"I had to use all my playboy tactics, even if they have not been used for some time," said Berlusconi.

At the opening ceremony later in the day, European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso would have the chance to sample Parma's famous smoked ham, Berlusconi said, and see for himself that it was better than traditional Finnish food.

"Barroso today will be able to taste our 'culatello' as opposed to smoked herrings from Finland," he said to laughter from the audience.

Italy fought hard to host the EU agency and Berlusconi reportedly told a summit of European leaders in December 2001: "Parma is synonymous with good cuisine. The Finns don't even know what prosciutto is."

The line has become one of the most memorable of Berlusconi's long list of indiscretions.

In October 2002 he told a joint press conference with Denmark's Anders Fogh Rasmussen the Dane was "the best-looking prime minister in Europe".

"He's so good looking, I'm even thinking of introducing him to my wife," he added, chuckling to himself.

During a photograph with other EU leaders in Spain in February 2002, Berlusconi raised two fingers behind the head of the then Spanish Foreign Minister Josep Pique, in the traditional Latin gesture for a cuckold. (:/)

You know, I've actually got to admire that.

'You're toast,' fans tell Michael Jackson following acquittal

AFP

Dateline: Los Angeles - A novel range of memorabilia celebrating Michael Jackson's acquittal on child sex charges is popping up on the Internet: slices of toast bearing the embattled superstar's spectral image.

Fans toasting a jury's decision to find the "King of Pop" not guilty say the grilled bread, which is going for up to 300 dollars per slice, magically popped out of their toasters at the exact moment Jackson was acquitted a week ago.

"This is a wonderful memento of this historic day that you will cherish for years to come," boasted one seller on the eBay online auction site.

"As I was watched the jury's verdict being announced on June 13, 2005, my toast popped up just as Michael was Acquitted!," said another enterprising seller trying to cash in on Jackson's vindication on all charges against him.

One slice of toast, bearing an elaborate image of the singer's face, complete with trademark hairstyle and round glasses, has fetched 300 dollars in offers.

Another slice, from the same toaster in the midwestern state of Illinois, had notched up 200 dollars in bids after the seller urged buyers to "Bid Now To Have This Holy Toast!"

A less fortunate fan toasting the King of Pop had garnered only 7.50 dollars in bids for his twin slices featuring the words "Yeah" on one and "Not Guilty!" on the other that he said popped up just before Jackson was acquitted.

"I was shocked, so I saved it and waited and then today at 4:30pm my time it came on the news and there it was Michael Jackson is found NOT Guilty!

"What a find. I could not believe that the morning of the verdict it was on my toast FIRST!," the owner of the holy slice crowed.

A seller in Texas offered a variation on the theme, saying he found Jackson's image on his breakfast pancake after the singer walked free from court at the end of a sensational 19-week trial.

But while a photograph showed the pancake bearing a blurry image of the 46-year-old singer, the seller stipulated that the vision was not for human consumption.

One of the several slices of toast on offer boasted what appeared to be a black and white image of the singer. "What type of bread was used, white or wheat," asked one potential buyer.

"White...of course, just like Michael!," the seller said of the African American superstar whose skin tone has faded dramatically over the past two decades. (:/)

Americans...

Man Wakes Up With a Bullet in His Tongue

AP

Dateline:Jacksonville, Fla. - Police say a man who woke up with a serious headache walked 12 blocks to a hospital with a swollen lip and powder burns. Doctors discovered the problem. 47-year-old Wendell Coleman had a bullet lodged in his tongue.

Coleman told police that a woman stuck a gun barrel in his mouth during a dispute around 2:30 Tuesday morning and that he heard the gun go off.

Police say Coleman then went home to sleep.

What authorities did with the bullet wasn't clear last night. (:/)

Handsome plumber calls French tourists to Poland

AFP

Dateline: Paris - In a tongue-in-cheek dig at the French fear of eastern European competition, the Polish tourist board is using the image of a handsome plumber to promote Poland as a holiday destination.



The board's website sports the image of a seductive blonde man clutching pipes and a monkey-wrench beneath the slogan, "I am staying in Poland -- come on over."

During the campaign leading to the French "no" in a May referendum on the EU constitution, the "Polish plumber" became a symbol of the cheap labour from new member states which was supposedly a threat to French jobs.

"People in Poland were really fed up with being made to take the blame," said Elzbieta Janek of the Polish tourist office in Paris.

"We decided the best response was humour. Our job is to encourage people to visit Poland, and this was a good way of defusing the tension and showing the French that they are always welcome," she said.

Sci/Tech

Japanese get a chance to chat up Cleopatra with DVD-powered mannequin

AFP

Dateline: Tokyo - Fantasies about chatting up legendary figures have come closer to reality in Japan where researchers have developed a mannequin with a built-in projector that can resemble a face of one's choice.



The life-size, made-to-order "Chatty" is a mannequin with a face that is an empty screen until turned on to play DVD images from inside the body. If one is in the mood for conversation, sound can come from a separate speaker.

"It is a device that can show a person's face, looks and mouth movements," said the developer, Ishikawa Optics and Arts Corp. of Tokyo. "It forms realistic images as if he or she were really talking to you."

Company president Jun Ishikawa said he wanted to produce historical figures such as ancient Egyptian queen Cleopatra.

The firm has yet to commercialize Chatty, which it hopes will draw a market at theme parks and showrooms.

The DVD images will be filmed inside a studio if the model is a real person. For imaginary characters -- or much older ones such as Cleopatra -- the company will use computer graphics.

Grapefruit May Make Women Seem Younger

AP

Dateline: New York - A study of smells shows that the scent of grapefruit on women make them seem about six years younger to men. However, grapefruit fragrance on men does nothing for them.

The study by the Smell and Taste Institute in Chicago was conducted by Institute director Alan Hirsch. Hirsch smeared several middle-aged woman with broccoli, banana, spearmint leaves, and lavender but none of those scents made a difference to the men.

But the scent of grapefruit changed men's perceptions. Hirsch said that when male volunteers were asked to write down how old the woman with grapefruit odor was, the age was considerably less than reality. (:/)

Criminal Stupidity

Man Falls Asleep During 18th DWI Arrest

AP

Dateline: Albuquerque, N.M. - A man arrested after a traffic stop fell asleep before an officer arrived to administer a field sobriety test. But authorities say James Lovato, 50, had been through it before — it was his 18th arrest on a charge of drunken driving.

The DWI Resource Center, which tracks drunken driving convictions back to 1984, said Lovato has been convicted at least eight times. State records show his first arrest was in 1977. In addition, a criminal complaint against him in the latest arrest said his license has been revoked seven times.

He was charged in Saturday's incident with aggravated driving while intoxicated on a fourth or subsequent offense.

A breath test found his breath-alcohol level was 0.16 percent, twice the state's presumed level of intoxication.

Lovato was driving on a revoked license when police said they clocked him at 77 mph in a 65 mph zone on Interstate 25 north of Albuquerque.

A complaint filed in metropolitan court said police had to force Lovato's car to the side of the road to get him to stop. Police then noticed an open beer bottle near the driver's seat, and said Lovato's eyes were bloodshot and his breath smelled of alcohol.

The complaint said three open containers of beer were found in the car.

Police also said Lovato fell asleep by the time a DWI officer arrived to administer the sobriety test. (:/)

Man Takes Fire Truck on Joyride

AP

Dateline: Port Huron, Mich. - He paid the toll when he crossed the Blue Water Bridge, but Martin Chalker is still in trouble with authorities on both sides of the U.S.-Canada border.

Police say Chalker, 35, broke into a fire truck parked at the Canada Customs compound in Point Edward, Ontario, on Sunday morning.

Chalker drove the truck belonging to the London, Ontario, Fire Department out of the compound, paid the toll and crossed the bridge. U.S. customs officers in Port Huron stopped Chalker and told him to park the truck at an inspection area, but he kept going onto westbound Interstate 94, St. Clair County sheriff's Sgt. Jerry Bassett said.

Deputies found Chalker and the truck in a ditch in Riley Township, 20 miles west of Port Huron, later Sunday morning, Bassett said. Chalker was arraigned Monday on a charge of possession of a stolen vehicle. A preliminary hearing was scheduled for June 28.

Chalker could face additional charges in Canada, the Times Herald of Port Huron reported Tuesday.

The only damage to the fire truck was a bent exhaust pipe, Bassett said. (:/)

Pizza Shop Robber Leaves Job Application

AP

Dateline: Las Vegas - A man accused of holding up a pizza parlor left behind a job application with his real name and address, authorities said. "I would chalk it up to either inexperience or plain stupidity," Clark County prosecutor Frank Coumou told the Las Vegas Review-Journal for a Wednesday report.

Alejandro Martinez, 23, of Las Vegas, was being held Wednesday at the Clark County jail pending a Monday appearance in Clark County District Court. He faces felony burglary and robbery with a weapon charges in the May 25 heist.

Authorities said Martinez ordered a pizza and started filling out the application before displaying a gun and demanding money. The clerk handed over $200.

Outside, a witness wrote down the license plate number of a getaway car, leading police to Martinez' home.

Martinez' lawyer, Deputy Public Defender James Ruggeroli, said authorities have the wrong man. He said said the pizza shop clerk couldn't identify Martinez as the robber, and the job application was not presented as evidence at a preliminary hearing. (:/)

Oh yeah. That's gonna work. I'd run with that, mate.

Eastern Promise

Russian army beauties wow nation at Miss Army 2005

AFP

Moscow - A Miss Army contest in which Russian female soldiers took to the catwalk cheered on by admiring male colleagues captured the nation's imagination, getting prime-time television coverage.



The show on Tuesday night at Moscow's Russian Army Theatre pitched 19 finalists against each other for the chance to be crowned Miss Army and have their image on national television as Russia's dedicated military channel.

"Since we're soldiers, our first concern is automatic weapons -- boys come second," a group of female soldiers sang during the glitzy performance, accompanied, in an adaptation of an old army song, by male officers playing guitars.

The idea of Miss Army, which began in 2003, came from a Soviet-era event called Miss Red Star.

Today is is a chance to correct society's misconceptions about army life, said senior officials, a view supported by admiring television presenters covering the event.

Rather than the images of begrimed soldiers usually seen on television, spectators saw sweetly smiling women in khaki mini-skirts, one of whom, the contest's first winner in 2003, extolled the "spiritual power" that women brought to military life.

Russia's army has a grim reputation for hazing and brutality, frequently leading to suicide deaths

"The best propaganda for the army," was how Russia's Channel 1 described the event.

"All armies have their problems. Society has a negative view of the army, the deaths. But this evening is wonderful. It is nothing but positive emotions, thanks to women," Colonel Gennady Dzyuba of Russia's defence ministry said.

"Those who have served, especially in hot spots, know the importance of women, they calm the team down. We restrain ourselves in front of them, desist from courseness," Dzyuba said.

On stage, two film screens showed the contestants passing a three-day drill near Moscow -- crawling in combat uniform, clambering into tanks and running delicately with automatic weapons clutched to their bosoms, never for a moment losing their smiles. (:/)

World News

Marijuana-Flavored Candy Blasted

AP

Dateline: Atlanta - Marijuana-flavored lollipops with names such as Purple Haze, Acapulco Gold and Rasta are showing up on the shelves of convenience stores around the country, angering anti-drug advocates.

"It's nothing but dope candy, and that's nothing we need to be training our children to do," said Georgia state Sen. Vincent Fort, who has persuaded some convenience stores to stop selling the treats.

The confections are legal, because they are made with hemp oil, a common ingredient in health food, beauty supplies and other household products. The oil imparts a marijuana's grassy taste but not the high.

Merchants call them a harmless novelty for adults and insist they advise stores to sell only to people 18 and older.

"There are more than 70 million people in the United States who smoke marijuana. We're catering to the audience of people who are in that smoking culture," said Rick Watkins, marketing director for Corona, Calif.-based Chronic Candy, which uses the slogan "Every lick is like taking a hit."

An Atlanta company called Hydro Blunts markets a similar product under the name Kronic Kandy, which is made in the Netherlands.

New York City Councilwoman Margarita Lopez introduced a resolution condemning the candies when she saw them at convenience stores near schools in her district. She plans to hold hearings this summer.

At Junkman's Daughter, an Atlanta novelty shop, the suckers are sold near the cash register from a bucket labeled with a marijuana leaf.

"We've got probably every weird kind of candy there is in here," owner Pam Majors said. "If it was anything you could get high off of, we wouldn't carry it, obviously." (:/)

Obviously!

Paintings by Chimpanzee Outsell Warhol

AP

Dateline: London - Monkey business proved to be lucrative Monday when paintings by Congo the chimpanzee sold at auction for more than $25,000.



The three abstract, tempera paintings were auctioned at Bonhams in London alongside works by impressionist master Renoir and pop art provocateur Andy Warhol.

But while Warhol's and Renoir's work didn't sell, bidders lavished attention on Congo's paintings.

An American bidder named Howard Hong, who described himself as an "enthusiast of modern and contemporary painting," purchased the lot of paintings for $26,352, including a buyer's premium.

The sale price surpassed predictions that priced the paintings between $1,000-$1,500.

"We had no idea what these things were worth," said Howard Rutkowski, director of modern and contemporary art at Bonhams. "We just put them in for our own amusement."

Congo, born in 1954, produced about 400 drawings and paintings between ages 2 and 4. He died in 1964 of tuberculosis.

His artwork provoked reactions ranging from scorn to skepticism among critics of the time, but Pablo Picasso is reported to have hung a Congo painting on his studio wall after receiving it as a gift. (:/)

Car Plows Into House, Lands on Man in Bed

AP

Dateline: Little Rock, Ark. - In one instant, Rickey May thought a bomb had gone off outside his home. In the next, he realized a car had crashed through his home's brick wall and landed on top of him in his bed.



"It was something pretty wild to wake up to," May said Monday from his hospital room at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences in Little Rock.

Police say Devlon Chandler, 34, and his wife were traveling through Pine Bluff early Sunday after a trip to a casino when Chandler fell asleep at the wheel. The car left the road, hit a telephone pole, ruptured a gas line and went airborne briefly before crashing through May's wall.

As the 1996 Ford Taurus shot across the bed, it rolled May inside his mattress "like a burrito," protecting him from the force of the accident, May said.

"The first thing I thought was I was dying," he said.

Heat from the muffler burned May's chest, and he said the car's weight on his chest was the most frightening. He said he was afraid that when the pressure was released he would die.

"I just knew I was dead. I told God `Sorry' for everything I'd done, but I asked him to help," said May.

Hospital spokeswoman Jerri Jackson said May, 42, was in fair condition Monday, but may need to have his right-hand ring finger amputated.

The Chandlers also were taken to the hospital, but their injuries were not serious and they were treated and released.

Devlon Chandler was ticketed for failing to maintain control of a motor vehicle, driving on a suspended license and not having proof of insurance, police said. (:/)

Cops On The Rocks

Police Officer Found Passed Out

KXAN36 Austin

Cedar Park Police say they caught another member of law enforcement drunk behind the wheel.

They say 40-year-old Austin Police officer Daniel Armstrong was passed out behind the wheel of his truck early Wednesday morning.

This is the second time in three weeks a member of law enforcement has been involved in an alcohol-related incident in Williamson County.

This situation was a little different.

"Our officers received a suspicious vehicle call in the Cedar Park post office parking lot," Cedar Park Police Sgt. Jeff Hayes said.

But that vehicle, a green Ford F-150 belonged to Austin Police officer Daniel Armstrong. Cedar Park Police Officer Chris Joost says he found passed out at the wheel, the engine still running.

"After making contact with him, he believed him to be intoxicated," Hayes said.

The police report shows Armstrong was unaware of his surroundings. When asked how much he had had to drink, he replied not enough. That's when Officer Joost had to take action.

"Our department policy is to handle this circumstance like any other circumstance," Hayes said.

In this circumstance, Armstrong was given a public intoxication citation -- a Class C misdemeanor that carries a maximum fine of $500.

The same penalty, Hayes says, anyone would have gotten.

"The suspect was cooperative and worked with the officers. We were able to quickly contact a family member who agreed to come pick him up," Hayes said.

But this is the second time in three weeks a member of law enforcement has been involved in an alcohol-related incident. Some people feel that's sending the wrong message especially to young people.

"Does it set a bad example? Yes it does," Rena McDonald with Mothers Against Drunk Driving said. "Law enforcement or fire department, emergency services, whatever. They should be held to a higher standard."

APD officials say, as of now, Officer Armstrong is still on duty. (:/)

Dear God!

Sport

Hewitt forgives Cash 'up the duff' gaffe

AFP

Dateline: London - Lleyton Hewitt said he was not offended by Australian compatriot Pat Cash's remarks about his pregnant girlfriend which were broadcast live on television.

Cash, the 1987 Wimbledon champion, was commentating for the BBC on Hewitt's second round match against Jan Hernych on Court One.

When the cameras turned to Hewitt's fiancee, soap opera actress Bec Cartwright who was sitting in the stands, Cash, thinking his microphone was switched off, was heard my millions of viewers saying: 'I bet she's up the duff'.

But Hewitt, who is set to marry the 21-year-old Cartwright on July 21 in Sydney, shrugged off the gaffe.

"Pat's always come out with some loose comments now and then," said Hewitt, the 2002 champion here.

"I was talking to him in the locker room and he obviously didn't mention that. We're good mates, I have a lot of respect for him. I haven't taken any offence from it."

Hewitt and Cartwright, a star in the popular Australian television series Home and Away, announced their engagement in late January after dating for just six weeks.

Last month Cartwright announced she was expecting a baby. (:/)

Didn't Cash know? Did she announce it in the bath, to an imaginary friend??

The Natural World

Amorous bull trashes Russian shop

Reuters

A stationer's shop in a Russian town is counting the cost of a passionate fling involving a bull which followed a cow after it trotted in from the street.

There may not have been much china in the shop in Pionersk but eight panes of glass got smashed in the process, Russia's Interfax news agency reports.

The shop assistant fled outside where help was summoned with a mobile phone.

Yet there was nothing for it but to wait for the "end of the act" after which the pair vacated the premises.

The owners of the shop in the port on the Baltic, in the Kaliningrad region, were counting the damage on Monday as the owners of the offending beasts were sought, local police told Interfax.

So shocked was the shop assistant that she forgot to press the shop's "panic button" in her haste to escape.

Security guards and passers-by gathered in the street but were powerless to intervene. (:/)

Farmer sees red over dyed sheep

BBC

Police are investigating an apparent case of sabotage after seven pedigree sheep were daubed in red paint.

Just days before showing his sheep at the Royal Highland Show in Ingliston, farmer Iain Barbour discovered some of the flock had been spray-painted.

The Suffolk sheep had also been released from a field at his farm near Annan, Dumfriesshire.

Mr Barbour said: "I am horrified and shocked that somebody could stoop to this level to ruin our show."

Mr Barbour and his sister Judith have been trying to remove the paint with thinners and graffiti removal paint.

"We have tried everything on them," he said. "It's just a shame that this has happened.

For someone to do this to my sheep is the lowest of the low
Iain Barbour

"Everyone in farming knows that this is the biggest show and that everybody wants to go to it.

"For someone to do this to my sheep is the lowest of the low, it really is." (:/)

Ahem, no, actually, it isn't...

Who loves ewe, baby (oh I had to)

AFP

A cobbler suspected of sorcery was attacked and nearly lynched by outraged villagers in central Kenya today after being caught having sex with a female sheep, witnesses and officials said.

Joshua Kiplagat, 36, sustained a serious head wound when the sheep's owner threw a machete at him after finding him in flagrante delicto with a prize ewe in the Rift Valley district of Bomet, they said.

He was then tied to a tree stump for five hours before being frogmarched naked with the violated ovine in tow to a police station where he confessed to several acts of bestiality that he blamed on the devil, they said.

"I was sent by the devil to do that," Kiplagat told the angry crowd which included several people who accused him of being a warlock.

One woman claimed to have seen him engaging in sex acts with a dog.

"I saw this man mounting a dog two weeks ago at around seven in the evening and I was so surprised," said the woman, who gave her name as Leah.

The bloodied shoe repairer adamantly denied allegations that he was a wizard and insisted that his affection for animals was limited to sheep.

"I only made love to the ewe twice using two condoms but I never do it regularly," he said in his defence. (:/)

That's. All. Right. Then.

Grandfather kills leopard with his hands

Reuters

Dateline: Nairobi - A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said Wednesday.

Peasant farmer Daniel M'Mburugu was tending to his potato and bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the long grass and leapt on him.

M'Mburugu had a machete in one hand but dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard's mouth. He gradually managed to pull out the animal's tongue, leaving it in its death-throes.

"It let out a blood-curdling snarl that made the birds stop chirping," he told the daily Standard newspaper of how the leopard came at him and knocked him over.

The leopard sank its teeth into the farmer's wrist and mauled him with its claws. "A voice, which must have come from God, whispered to me to drop the panga (machete) and thrust my hand in its wide open mouth. I obeyed," M'Mburugu said.

As the leopard was dying, a neighbor heard the screams and arrived to finish it off with a machete.

M'Mburugu was toasted as a hero in his village Kihato after the incident earlier this month. He was also given free hospital treatment by astonished local authorities.

"This guy is very lucky to be alive," Kenya Wildlife Service official Connie Maina told Reuters, confirming details of the incident. (:/)

Quote of the Week

"Paulo Coelho writes because he wants to be loved. I read because I want to be interested. At this point it's hard to say which of us is the more disappointed."

Adam Mars-Jones, The Observer

Celebrity Nation

Jack is hot to plot film's sex scenes

Rush & Malloy

Jack Nicholson (here with Sen. Ted Kennedy and Ted's son Patrick in Hyannis Port, Mass.) suggested some tweaks for the script of 'The Departed.'
Martin Scorsese doesn't let every actor rewrite his movies - but then, not every actor brings so much life experience to a role as Jack Nicholson.

Word is the two-time Oscar-winner has been tinkering with the script for Scorsese's "The Departed" - including the sex scenes.

"Jack didn't feel there was enough Jack in his character," a spy tells us.

So Nicholson, who plays a Boston Irish gangster named Costello, called for a polish to William Monahan's script.

"Jack actually did some of the writing himself," says our spy.

But we're told it wasn't a pen he used for revising a scene in which he gets busy with two women.

"Jack suggested using a [prosthetic appendage]," adds the source. "He also wanted to dust the [posterior] of one of the actresses with cocaine. Marty said, 'Go for it!'"

A Warner Bros. rep would say only, "It's not at all uncommon for dialogue to be fine-tuned during production. Everyone is extremely pleased with the way this shoot is proceeding." (:/)

Especially Jack, I'd say.

Lohan not happy...

IMDB

Lindsay Lohan was furious after viewing the premiere of her new movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." Lohan was upset because the song she recorded for the film ended up being used during the closing credits and not during a key scene in the movie like she had thought.

Lohan stormed out of the theater following the premiere.

"I was upset when I hear my song ("First") during the race scene, where I originally thought it would be. I was like, 'Whoaaa, ' because nobody stays to hear the song in the closing credits. So I ran out. I recorded it right before I got sick (from exhaustion) and went to the hospital. And then I shot the video for it and re-sprained my ankle. I pushed myself to get it done for the movie when I probably should have waited." (:/)

Ahhh.

Now - is this man a drinker's God? Or what? Read on...

And Finally (Pt 1)

Man Charged With Joyriding Plane Drunk

AP

Dateline: Harrison, N.Y. - An intoxicated 20-year-old stole a small plane and took two friends on a three-hour, predawn joyride early Wednesday that ended with a safe landing at a closed airport, authorities said.



A Westchester County Airport security car met the plane at 4:15 a.m., and "a significant number of beer cans" spilled to the ground when the plane doors opened, County Executive Andrew Spano said.

The plane's pilot, Philippe Patricio, of Bethel, Conn., was arrested with a blood alcohol level of 0.15 percent — nearly double the legal limit for driving in New York state, said county Police Commissioner Thomas Belfiore. His two 16-year-old passengers were not charged.

The single-engine, four-seat Cessna had taken off at about 1:30 a.m. from the Danbury (Conn.) Municipal Airport, some 25 to 30 miles from the Westchester airport.

Spano was incensed, saying that the post-Sept. 11 security measures in place at the Westchester airport were not duplicated at Danbury.

"We can only make ourselves safe here (Westchester)," Spano said. "It still leaves us vulnerable to what happened."

Paul Estefan, administrator of Danbury Municipal Airport, rejected the criticism, saying the airport is fenced in and patrolled by police officers.

Patricio was charged with criminal possession of stolen property, reckless endangerment, resisting arrest and driving while intoxicated, Belfiore said. He said the DWI charge accuses Patricio of taxiing through the airport while drunk, since there are no state laws applying to flying while intoxicated.

The plane was nearly out of gas when it landed, and it appeared that Patricio became lost during his time in the air, authorities said. It was unclear how he managed to land safely in his condition, on a small, unlighted taxiway, authorities said.

"There has been some internal talk about that accomplishment," said Belfiore. Spano said Patricio had seven hours of flight instruction but no license. (:/)

He rocks! Even the cops have to admit it.

And Finally (Pt 2)

Potato Farmers Loathe 'Couch Potato' Term

AP

Dateline: London - British potato farmers demonstrated outside Parliament on Monday to publicize their bid to remove the term "couch potato" from the Oxford English Dictionary, arguing that the description of slothful TV addicts harms the vegetable's image.



The group of about 30 farmers carried signs that read "couch potato out" and "ban the term couch potato." A similar rally took place in Oxford, central England.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the term "couch potato" as "a person who spends leisure time passively or idly sitting around, especially watching television or video tapes."

The British Potato Council says the phrase makes the vegetable seem unhealthy. It wants the expression stripped from the dictionary and replaced in everyday speech with the term "couch slouch."

"The potato industry are fed up with the disservice that 'couch potato' does to our product when we have an inherently healthy product," said Kathryn Race, head of marketing at the British Potato Council, a body set up by the government to run advertising campaigns promoting potato consumption and research issues linked to the vegetable.

"Potatoes have been around for many, many years, but increasingly, with all the coverage that dieting & healthy eating gets in general, we need to make sure that potatoes remain a popular food," Race said.

The demonstrators in London were joined by celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson, who said the vegetable was one of Britain's favorite foods.

"Not only are they healthy, they are versatile, convenient and taste great too. Life without potato is like a sandwich without a filling," he said.

Race said the council, which represents some 4,000 growers and processors, had written to the Oxford English Dictionary stating its objections but had not yet had a response.

John Simpson, chief editor of the Oxford English Dictionary, said the expression first appeared in the 1993 edition.

"Inclusion is based on currency of the term rather than on the basis of what people want us to put in the dictionary," he said. "When people blame words they are actually blaming the society that uses them."

Simpson said he thinks the campaign is "a bit of consciousness raising" on the part of the British Potato Council. "I think the potato has taken a bit of a mashing after the Atkins diet," he said, referring to the low-carbohydrate food regime. (:/)

Indeed! Until next time...

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